so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
