did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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