3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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