Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
