I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
