btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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