Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
