its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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