i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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