Well apparently he's into motor boating.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
