The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
