Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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