she looked like the before picture.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
