areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
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honey bunches of taint.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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