Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
