I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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