I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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