he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
