dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
