you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
