I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
