this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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