4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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