Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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