I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
