Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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