I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize