Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
