grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
