i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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