But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
