left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
