maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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