You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
