His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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