some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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