The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Drake has all the answers
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
