You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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