I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My feet surprised me
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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