Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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