Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize