I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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