What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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