My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
