is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
