Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
