so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
