I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
