do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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