i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
God, I missed his penis.
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