we made out on top of his cat.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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