They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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