I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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