peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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