Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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