You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
