I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
