normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
