i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
