covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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