I must be too annoying 4 u.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
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I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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