The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
