just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
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How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
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I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
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