I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip